blog post 6

This week we talked about pre-marriage stressors, dating, marriage proposals and how various things affect a couple’s marriage. We talked about how important it is to have a strong foundation with marriage just like with a house that needs a strong base, so does a marriage. We talked about how having the conversations about expectations that occur within a marriage like money, how to handle discipline with children, even sexual relations between man and women need to be talked about.  Having these conversations makes it so that husband and wife have a better understanding of each other’s roles. We talked about how most engaged couples don’t talk about these things and say we will wait until later when we are actually married.  This can be fine but doing this can lead to conflict. Some couples want to get married just to say and show “Oh we got married.” We talked about the difference in how people decide to get married. We talked about how baby boomers and older had the typical proposal, where the girl did not know it was coming and if they did the couples do say it out loud.  Now days most couples talk about it first so that the girl knows it is coming. This is super common here at BYU-I.  It happens all the time you meet a boy 8 to 10 months later she has a ring. Sometimes it is sooner than that. This has happened so often. I had a roommate who meet her husband at the beginning of our 3-month semester and had a ring about a month after the semester ended.  This is not uncommon. It’s a dream every girl wants a boy or man to come and take you to your happily ever after. For me there is none in sight.  This is fine with me; I have a plan and if a man comes along, I will happily get married, but it is not my first plan of action. Growing up in Kaysville, I always felt behind in this department because all of the girls my age have a husband. I feel that all women should not be asked every time where you are at with the boy department.  Some go at a different speed or haven’t meet the right one yet.  Towards the end of class, we talked about the benefits and negatives of both types of dating and the approach of how to ask someone to marry. Our teacher believed in the traditional way, we enjoyed hearing his story of how he proposed to his wife.  For us, growing up in a different time we have a different way of going about the act of a marriage proposal.  I don’t know if one way is better then the other. But we all have our different ways of finding a wife or a husband.  I have learned so much during that class period then I have in a while I walked out of there with a sense of relief. I learned during that class period that we are all on our own path. And there is not one path for everyone. Taking this class, I feel that everyone should have to take it just to learn the skill of understanding others.  We are so quick to judge but we don’t detail. Like the girl on campus who is where something that you find revolting. Maybe that is her only dress, or maybe her grandma made it and she likes where to feel closer to her grandma. And when we judge others then we think that others are judging us. fffffffffffff